The Battle of the Coat

April 22, 2021

April is the cruelest month, especially for mothers.

This week, many of the regions in the KidsOutAndAbout network woke up to an April snowfall, my home town included. And 35,000 years ago this week, Neanderthal mothers were doing a version of just what we were doing here in 2021: “Put on an extra mammoth skin, for pity’s sake. Doesn't the phrase Ice Age mean anything to you?” But Neanderthal children ignored their mothers just as our kids ignore us, especially in April. After all, it's spring, right? Therefore, no coat required. Case closed, at least in their tiny little overheated minds.

Why do kids do this? It seems to start as toddlers, a time when many kids would prefer no clothes at all, ever. Coats are bulky things that are tough to maneuver into when you're 2 years old and have just discovered the power of the word No. But it's just as hard or even harder to get a teenager to wear one, possibly because they have had more than a decade of "No" practice. After all, kids need to be independent, to learn how to control their own environment, even if they make mistakes... but they also want their moms to do their best to take care of them. The coat struggle gives them the best of both of those worlds, even though it's no fun for anyone.

So here's the question: How bad would it be if we let our kids win the Battle of the Coat?

The available evidence seems to say that my instinct to protect my kids by putting whatever barrier I can between them and the elements is just that: an instinct. Barring seriously frigid conditions where frostbite and hypothermia are likely, it's probably no big deal. Kids aren't going to get sick as a result of being chilly (you need an actual virus or bacterium to do that to you). Plus, kids tend to be more active than adults, and so they typically feel warmer than you do out in the cold. And, most important, they're almost certainly within easy access of a car or building that they'll use if they need to.

Kids 1, Deb 0.

So yes, even if my motherly instincts make my heart equate discomfort with disaster, I have to remind myself that there are these pesky things called FACTS, and that I should be paying more attention to them than to the remnants of my Neanderthal instincts. It's hard, but I'm going to try. Because after all, there will always be more important battles to fight, and I should at least pick one I can win.

—Deb