On Muddling and Stars

December 24, 2020

My friend Allen Hopkins, a folk singer, recently linked those on his email list to an interesting article in MacLean's that details the history of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." The song first came out during World War II—Judy Garland sang it in the 1944 movie Meet Me in St. Louis—and it became a holiday classic. Thirteen years later, Frank Sinatra wanted to include it in his 1957 Christmas album, but he thought the line "Through the years, we all will be together if the Fates allow; until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow" was too depressing. So he changed the last bit to "Hang a shining star upon the highest bough."

I'm a bit of a traditionalist, but I can't exactly blame Sinatra and his Greatest Generation. The war years had been tough on everyone, and many wanted to leave them in the past: They were on the other side of all of that muddling, so they wanted their popular music to focus on the shining stars ahead. Some folks in my grandparents' generation preferred to deny how hard those years had been, or even talk about them at all, but between then and now, I think we've learned as a culture that ignoring bad things doesn't make them go away or even lessen their influence. We've gotten better at looking the hard facts squarely in the eye while simultaneously reminding ourselves of the reasons we have to be positive. We now know it's a balance.

That balance was something I found hard to strike this year as I'd sit down to write this column week after week. After all, KidsOutAndAbout's whole raison d'être is to focus on the good stuff: to celebrate all of the options that people are providing for kids, teens, and families in each of the 45 communities we serve. How could I continue to do that, not only given that there were fewer things to do, but in the shadow of the actually terrible things happening everywhere?

The answer turned out to lie somewhere between those two different lines of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas": There's no denying that COVID has made 2020 a year to be muddled through rather than celebrated. But there's also no denying that we have become pretty darned good at muddling, and in large part, we're doing it by focusing on the brightness that lies ahead.

So as you and your family are muddling through a holiday season where you're not all able to be together, I encourage you to remember what you already know: Focusing on the bright lights on the horizon is largely what helps us push through hard times successfully. So to everyone out there looking for reasons to celebrate: Hang your star, and then have yourself a merry little Christmas, tomorrow.

—Deb